Posted as sent.
I’ve had this issue and don’t know what’s wrong. I can’t seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job
My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn’t work out.
I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don’t like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Naijaloaded and so on.
I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men.
He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don’t have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.
Here’s the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away.
some are in the army(i can’t date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don’t believe in religion.
But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male readers, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating.
There’s that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won’t allow.
No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won’t allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?
To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want.
This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?
I Will Be In The Comment Section.
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